Anxiety is part of life, across all chapters, including childhood. It shows up in moments of uncertainty, change, challenge and growth. While uncomfortable, it often serves a purpose. It can motivate preparation, sharpen focus, or remind us to pay attention. In many cases, it’s manageable, as long as we don’t let it take the lead.
When our kids feel anxious, it can suddenly feel less manageable for us and our first instinct is often to soften the blow:
“You don’t have to go.”
“Let’s skip it this time.”
“Just stay home and rest.”
In the moment, that feels like the right call. It calms the nerves, avoids the tears and keeps the day moving. But over time, avoidance quietly teaches a powerful (and limiting) message:
“The only way to feel safe is to avoid what makes me anxious.”
That’s why we need to ACT.
The ACT model offers a practical and compassionate way forward, helping children (and adults) build psychological flexibility: the ability to stay present, connect to what matters, and take purposeful action, even in the face of discomfort.
It stands for:
Accept. Choose. Take action.
Accept thoughts and feelings and be present
“This feels scary” or “I’m nervous” is okay. They don’t need to feel calm to keep going. Naming and noticing the feeling is often the first step toward moving through it.
Choose a valued direction
Remind your child what matters. “You care about being part of the team." “You want to keep learning.” “You worked hard to get here.”
When actions are connected to values, they gain meaning, even when they’re hard.
Take action
Do the thing. Even with the nerves. Even with the discomfort. Each time they face the situation, they show themselves they’re more capable than the anxiety would have them believe.
Avoidance might feel helpful in the short term, but it makes anxiety louder in the long run. The only real way through it is to act anyway, with support, purpose, and the belief that challenge isn’t something to fear,
it’s something to build from. We don’t remove the feeling; we teach kids how to keep going with it, because the goal isn’t to raise children who never feel
anxious. The goal is to raise children who aren’t held back by it.
Progress won’t always look perfect. But every time they face something hard and act anyway, they build a little more courage, a little more resilience, and gain more evidence that they can, in fact, do it.